From Kilcock To Calgary

Let me preface this entry by saying that anyone with legs and a credit card should visit the Rockies once in their lifetime. We had the trip of a lifetime - in a tent!. Here's how....

The Dream.....

The Reality. Budget Explorer - says it all

Both of us were dying for the break and couldn't wait to get on the road. Aswell as finally getting to see the majestic Rockies, this trip to the neighbouring province of Alberta would be our first trip outside of BC (to any other Canadian province) since we arrived in Canada. Budget car rental messed us around yet again after promising a Pathfinder delivered a pathetic Explorer - I was soon to find out that it had bigger blind spots than Pol Pot - more about this ignorant American beast anon. It did have an mp3 player which meant we brought 6 cds for the entire trip and never had to listen to the same song twice. Nice. The reason I hired such a big wagon was to try and bring our bikes with us. When I picked up the jeep, we tried fitting the 2 bikes in the back and while they both fitted OK there was very little room for much else. So we very comfortably fit all our camping stuff and our extensive wardrobe and shoe collection and off we went.

Gerome the Gnome and friend - in a heatwave, Princeton BC

First overnight stop (after a couple of curiousity detours and coffee breaks to Princeton and Osoyoos) was to be Kelowna (prononced Cologne-a, an appropriate enough name given the amount of perfumed ponces floating around). We got there via the Okanagan (Oak-a-knockin) Valley, a wine producing and very beautiful region of BC. We experienced the most bizarre and schizophrenic changes in landscape over a couple of hundred kilometres. One minute we're driving through a desert, the next there's lush vineyards as far as the eye can see. Something to do with south facing slopes being better and more fertile locations to grow grapes - makes sense I suppose. We entertained ourselves very briefly by having the most ill informed botanical conversation about "how trees disease by fleas". The Okanagan Lake is a huge body of water around which all this winemaking and tourism takes place. The lake is so vast that people think they're at the seaside and the grapes think they're in the south of France. We drove for 200km along its shore and still didnt get to the top end of it. Anyways - Kelowna is a bad place to start any camping expedition - it was like camping in Newbridge.... It appears the disdain is mutual though - we passed a sign outside Osoyoos (I'll get back to you on the phonetic spelling...) which said "If it's tourist season why can't we shoot 'em?". AND we were ripped off cos we arrived late and got a crap site at a much inflated price.We got out of the Hiawatha RV and Campground as soon as we could on Sunday morning and headed for the first of the 6 National Parks we were to encounter on our travels, Glacier National Park. Not before having to fill the tank on the Thirsty Explorer. Takes $90 to fill it and it's not shy about skulling it back either. We decided not to overnight in Mount Revelstoke National Park and keep driving towards Glacier. We arrived at the Loop Brook Campsite at about midday and got a gorgeous site right beside the fast flowing Illecilleewaet (Illissilliwatt) River. The weather was fantastic and even though we still weren't in the Rockies proper, we were starting to get an idea of what sights and wilderness were ahead of us. When we got setup we got a rush of blood to the head and decided to do a half day hike up Abbots Ridge. It was our first effort at anything nearly as ambitious and we paid for it in sweat. A pretty steep 4km climb full of switchbacks and rough terrain but with fantastic views down on the river and on the rail line hundreds of feet below. We got jelly legs after about 2 hours of climbing and decided to pull in to Marion Lake. Interestingly the downhill hike was almost as stressful on our leg muscles. But we got back to base after just over 4 hours pretty proud that we hadnt just lay sweating in the tent all afternoon eating banana flavoured Power Bars. We set our first fire and cooked dinner, had a few beers and went to bed.

Loop Brook Campsite, Nightlife

We were in serious bear country (smiling bear country was over the river) and there were signs everywhere - including a bear shaped sign nailed to our picnic table - warning campers to be vigilant and not to leave out food which would attract the bears. So we went to sleep in fear of bears but as it turns out its the smaller varmint bastards we needed to be afraid of. The Ford Explorer: "Simply the best Explorer ever" 4.6 litres of V8 engine, marketed for its rugged sturdy stafety and dashing good looks, seems to have a chink in its armour....It let in a crack commando team of mice to first indulge in multiple times their bodyweight in our provisions of trail mix and bran flakes, then have a poop party all over the inside of the jeep. I have no idea how they got in - we woke to see mice scurrying up the wheels into the underside - but get in they did. It never occurred to us that we'd need to mouse proof our food supplies. You live and learn. After cleaning up the mouse shit (similar to very miniature sheep shit) and poking the upholstery with a stick for 20 mins to ensure we took no passengers, we loaded everything up and went driving to the nearest Loonie Store to pick up a huge sealable plastic container to keep our supplies un-nibbled on. As it turned out it was the only mishap on our journey and hardly a life threatening one. But disturbing none the less.

Railway Station at Field, Revelstoke National Park

So onwards we travelled along the Trans Canada Highway through a town called Golden and into Yoho National Park. At this stage we had travelled 840km and were still in BC and still hadn't yet seen the Rockies. We holed up for the night in the Kicking Horse Campground in Yoho. We had heard and read horror stories of how the months of June to September were a real nightmare when it came to getting a campsite in any of the parks near the Rockies. Most places advised, where possible, booking months in advance as the area is one of the most popular camping destinations in the world in the summer months. We managed to book a couple in advance but even at that it turned out that if you got to a campsite before late afternoon you wouldnt have any problems.

Marion Lake, Glacier National Park

Recovering as we were from our previous day's hike we decided to take it easy and headed for Emerald Lake. It was an incredibly hot day and the hyper real colour of the lake in the bright sunlight with the snow capped mountain backdrop was kind of jaw dropping. Like stepping into a postcard ala that AHA video. We hired a kayak and paddled slowly and ineptly like some kind of drunken fish out on to the lake to take it all in. Definitely one of the highlights of our trip and definitely up there with the deserted beach in St Kitts or honeymoon clifftop dining in Ischia. You know when you have one of those moments which makes the expense and hardship and sacrifice and hygiene implications of travel seem wholly irrelevant, a moment where the beauty of your surroundings is almost therapeutic by itself. What I'm trying to say is that it was romantic I suppose. We tried to go swimming but even though the temperature was early to mid 30s, the lake is fed by melt water (water from freshly melted glaciers) so the water was still really cold and it would have been like swimming in a melted blue coolpop. We returned exalted to another campfire prepared meal by the pavey Martha Stewart. When you cook on a campfire everything tastes like Sam Spudz Smokey Bacon - which may explain how distinctly unpopular they were amongst the itinerant demographic (citation needed). I'm not complaining mind, I loved SamSpudzSmokeyBacon. The mice and bears left us alone and we slept well to arise at 630 and pack everyhthing up to head to Banff.

Patience

We crossed into Alberta and put our watches forward an hour and got our first real view of the Rockies. M said she didn't expect the Rockies to be so Rocky. I pretended I was still winding my watch. We had the next 2 nights booked at the Tunnel Mountain campsite in Banff so we could take our time getting there. Banff main street could have been any high street in Canada - very touristy with little or no community feel about the place. All the shops were franchise, Roots, Gap, Helly Hansen, Earls, Starbucks etc. You got the impression that the town centre was very much purpose built to capitalise and pounce on chintz starved travellers with fat wallets who may be experiencing mall withdrawl after their trip over the mountains. The 1000 site Tunnel Mountain campsite 3km outside of town was the epitiome of Canadian efficiency and hospitality. It was only half full aswell but our nextdoor neighbours turned out to be 4 student young wans from Maynooth / Leixlip. I got the impression that it was their major expedition to find the true heart of the Canadian wilderness after a summer spent doing crap jobs in Vancouver..... and then we pull in around the corner, not only from the same country but from the same frickin county, going Hiyizzz!! I'd be so depressed. They handled it well by ignoring us for the next few days. It rained hard the next day and they wouldnt accept invitations for lifts into town or coffees or anything from us. Nice girls though. We found a gorgeous coffee shop in the town - Wild Flour Cafe I think it was called and we had breakfast in there both mornings and made life decisions over the most delicious almond croissants the day of the big rain. We also visited the neighbouring town of Canmore and had some of the best Chilli (which also interestingly doubled as the Minestrone soup of the day) we ever tasted and got a 40 minute spiel from a man selling luxury holiday condominiums. It was funny cos we were on a budget of a 100 bucks a day, smelling like pikeys with our rainsoaked clothes and smokey bacon aroma and this guy still thought he was onto a good thing selling us a $400k second home. Will'yee take cash boss? M got so into it that she even picked out the condo she wanted from the 3D model of the development. When naievty meets people looking for a dry place in out of the rain , bad things happen. The next day was far better weather wise and we hired bikes and went on a 12km cycle up some trail which lead nowhere.

Talking to a hamster - I think

It was while leaving Banff that the true folly of the Ford Explorer was revealed to me. This thing beeps incessantly at you - if you're not wearing your seatbelt, if there's a door ajar, if the lights are on, if there's a door ajar when you try and lock it from the outside, if you're about to reverse into an obstacle (interestingly M giving me parking directions from behind counts as an obstacle) and if you try and have a sly fart into the leather seats. It also annoyingly attenuates the volume on the stereo as you slow down or speed up and automatically locks all doors 30 seconds after starting to drive. Leaving Banff I got distracted with something M (always blame M) was saying and at a junction took a left and ended up driving the wrong way up the Trans Canada Highway - only for a couple of hundred metres. The Ford Explorer did not beep. Luckily there was no oncoming traffic and I quickly snapped out of my Irish driving reverie, mounted the median like the Fall Guy and got back onto the right side of the road and continued safely. Still not a beep out of the Ford Explorer. You know what they say : Artificial Intelligence = Real Stupidity. The golden age of American Automobiles is over. As was my relationship with this moany hole piece of dumb American iron. No wonder GMC is in such dire financial straits and Toyota have just opened the largest car manufacturing plant in North America in Kentucky somewhere. MUCK!! Anyway - rant over.

The Road to Moraine Lake

Next it was off to Lake Louise. A really gorgeous campsite with the sound of the river through the trees and the earthy smell of forestry and fresh air. We were a little bit alarmed to find the entire campsite circled with a 4 strand electric fence and all entrances with Texas Gates (what they call cattle grids over here) to keep out the bears. We headed up to Moraine Lake which is about 15km above Lake Louise and totally worth the trip. It's unbelievably picturesque and I took a load of photos with my new tripod, none of which come close to doing it any justice. It was a cold enough day and we should have known that the night would be a cold one aswell. As it turned out it got a couple of degrees below zero - definitely the coldest August night I've ever camped out on. Our strategy for hypothermia avoidance involved donning our rain gear going to sleep. We didnt die of the cold so it must have worked. We woke up to frost on our tent and condensation in our pajamas. Mad Ted. Not much in Lake Louise. The Chateau Lake Louise ellicited an incredulous "Chateau Me Hole!" response from me when I first saw it. That probably sums up my disappointment. It was like the Ibis Hotel at the Red Cow Roundabout except a little bit bigger and and slightly better appointed. So where did we end up after Lake Louise......?

Hiking at Wilcox Creek, near Columbia Icefields

We read in our Rough Guide to Canada that the drive to our next stop was one of the most sensational drives anywhere in the world and so it turned out. Its the 230km or so spin from Banff to Jasper and is called the Icefields Parkway. It basically brings you straight throught he heart of the Rockies range. At certain points you have a full 360 degrees of unbelievable scenery and you're literally surrounded by mountains higher than you've ever seen for as far as the eye can see. We pulled in for the evening at Wilcox Creek because one of the guidebooks said that the campground was the base for one of the best day hikes the Rockies had to offer. We pitched our tent around 11, had some breakfast and took off up the hill at an unsustainably enthusiastic pace. Another fabulous hike which brought us up over the Icefield Parkway with stunning views of Mount Athabasca and the surrounding glaciers. We saw a couple of mountain goats and jumped over rivers and creeks like we were kids. The Snickers I had at the top of the trail was the tastiest Snickers ever -I've no idea what Mick Jagger was talking about. The next day we took a Sno Coach up to the Athabasca Glacier and had an eco-terrorist walk around on the top. To give you an indication of the craziness of the weather in this neck of the woods - the road is only passable 4 months of the year and this area has an average snowfall of 23 feet a year. There were trees on the road up to the Glacier with leaves growing only on one side such is the fierceness of the gales blowing down from the Glacier. There were only certain areas on the glacier you could walk for fear of falling into one of the many crevaces, some of them upto 2km deep.

On the Sno Coach - upholstery by Hal Conway

Next stop was Jasper and the Wapiti (pronounced Wappety) Campground. It was Labour Day weekend and the place was packed with RVs and Pickups with strap on caravans. People look down their snot at tents over here in a big way. Both Jasper and Banff had dedicated parking for RVs on the outskirts of the town and there were literally hundreds of these shiny horseboxes lined up waiting for a space to become available. Jasper is a far nicer and community centric town than Banff. You get the impression there was a town here before the tourism. We even found an off license that delivers beer until 1am aswell! Imagine how badly abused that would be at home. We also stopped in for lunch in a cafe on the main street and had such a taste sensation (howya Graham) experience that we ate all our meals there for the next 2-3 days. Kind of embarassing to admit that but you'd need to taste the Avacado Pita Roll and the Breakfast Spinach Pizza Special before casting judgement. Hommena Hommena! It got to a stage where rather than saying "what'll we do today?" it was more "what'll we do between pizza?" Bad Boy Bubbies that we are. We decided we're going to open a cafe as tasty as that when we get home. The place was an inspiration.

Lake Maligne, Jasper

But enough about food. The second day we were in Jasper we made a very early morning out of town excursion to Lake Maligne - (pronounced MaLeen). We met a lovely couple from Hinton heading out on the lake to fish for the day and they told us about Chinook winds and the Skyline 2 day 48km hike which they did a couple of years ago and recommended we complete on our return to the rockies. We completed a small hike called the Moose Lake Loop and did indeed spot a Moose mid its morning ablutions. We finally discovered a creature which takes longer than M to get ready. When it was done it swam, SWAM!! to the other side of the lake. Whooda thunk moose could swim? Then we hired another canoe and went paddling on the lake for the rest of the day. Laverly.

Whiskey Jack Falls

All the things you learn from talking to random people you bump into. For example we also learned that there was horrific gang warfare in Vancouver in the late 80s and the chosen method of disposing of your enemy was to push him under a skytrain. A guy we met who'd lived in Vancouver round 87-89 said that in 1989 something like 22 people were killed this way. The other most fascinating element of our trip was learning about the railways and living so close to them for the two weeks. The rail line follows a basically similar route to the Trans Canada Highway and we never ventured too far off it so we were generally in earshot or spitting distance of the train tracks. We were woken many times by their horns echoing seemingly forever through the mountain valleys. There was something dreamlike about the noise, like the trains are sending echo location messages along the track to discover potential obstacles. "Pretend they're whales, keeping their voices down". They really are magnificent - some of them are upto 3.5km long. I used to find it odd that a previous boss of mine had a diesel train as his screen saver and that his computer made train noises when new mail arrived. I think I may have become a trainspotter.

Lake Maligne, Jasper

The history of all the parks is closely related to the Canadian Pacific railway, as the railway was being built every time an already established town was encountered the railway company would purchase massive tracts of land surrounding the town. These lands were eventually purchased by the Canadian Government and turned into protected lands. Over time the boundaries were expanded and these lands eventually became the National Parks of today. Jasper National Park, Banff National Park and Glacier National Park all originated in this way. The rail company also constructed the current landmark hotels The Banff Springs Hotel, Chateau Lake Louise and many others to encourage tourists to travel on their engineering miracle railway to these very remote spots in the inhospitable Rockies. Another fascinating tidbit of trivia relating to the pioneer days of the railway was that the settlements encountered on or along the route were named or renamed alphabetically from West to East. Kind of like the way they name hurricanes today. This knowledge was imparted to us by the lady who gave the puppet show for the kids at Lake Louise Campground so we may need to have the facts verified. She also invited us to her recently acquired hostel in the hippy town of Nelson in Eastern BC. It's 9 hours drive from Vancouver so we'll see.

The Lake at Blue River BC

We left Jasper planning on camping 1 night in Mount Robson but we ended up ploughing through there to make some time because the beloved Explorer was due back in Vancouver. But in return for this minor sacrifice we ended up staying in one of the prettiest towns we've ever driven through. It was a place called Blue River BC and it was just gorgeous - one of those places you'd love to bring home with you. They're in the very early stages of trying to cash in on the tourism but geography is very much against them as the town is located 4 hours from anywhere. Lovely people aswell. We ate breakfast at a roadside diner and the banter between the locals was hilarious even at 730 in the morning. Almost distracted me from my ketchup. The one bad thing we have to say about it is it's the only place we got bitten by mosquitos. They were SuperSize Flys down Blue River way. I got bit on my belly bad. It turned into a 6 inch diameter raised red blotch that was insanely itchy for a full week after. M got bit on her knee. Sly deet avoiding hoors. We also bumped into Klogs Klogstofferson in our Blue River campsite. Like Kris Kristofferson he was, but with clogs. We suspect he may have been Germanic or maybe Proto Germanic. Sorry Linda and Siamak. A very funny sight he was. Like something out of a Reeves and Mortimer sketch.

Merritt, BC

The next day we rolled on through Kamloops, pausing in Merritt for ketchup, and on into Vancouver having completed a 3000km round trip and spent half our SSIA on drink for the Explorer. A great trip altogether. Except for the accusations of OCD fire tending and having to charge my camera batteries in public conveniences (I overheard 1 person being quoted $15 to charge his battery for an hour in a camera shop in Banff) it was thoroughly enjoyable. Apologies for the unedited rambling version of events but rambling was really the theme of our trip so it's kind of appropriate I suppose. Passing through Sicamous - "The Houseboat Capital of Canada, Revelstoke - "The home of the world's largest Carved Grizzlies", Merrit "The Country and Western Capital of Canada", Kelowna "Home of the $7 Hem" and Golden - "The Town of Oppurtunity" were real highlights also.

I learned so many sweet moves (not pictured) in Merritt

What 2 weeks camping does to your "do"

Of course it was our first wedding anniversary on Friday aswell so thanks to all friends and family for the phonecalls and cards and blog comments congratulating us on our achievement. We were genuinely touched by the amount of people who actually remembered. We celebrated in style with an 8 course vegetarian meal in West. Vegetarianism has never been so decadent. Pretty expensive but totally worth it for a special occasion. Never have I rolled more effortlessly out of an eating establishment. And I entertained the taxi driver on the way home with some lovely vintage cheddar arse music. I think I made a lasting impression :)

1 year down.....

Edit : I was looking through these earlier and decided I'd throw them up to remind us that the chaos of the past year started here - probably about a week before :)

La Vie en Rosie Dolly

Howya Graham - I love this photo. Taken by Linda we think..