The Back Of A Vancouver Milk Carton

Has anyone seen any or all of the following people missing since the morning of the expiry of their Visas?

Lenny has extended The Legend franchise to Toronto

Louise and Stephen - last seen in Sugar Daddy's

Dave and Grainne

Ciaran, Ciara, Lori and Sharon

Mundy meets The Terminator. Terry Fox who's been missing for a while now.

Vancun in Janvouver

June in Vancouver has been pretty great. We had some long awaited and very welcome visitors. The weather has been fantastic and it actually feels like we're the ones on our holidays. We started off with yet more camping adventures and took a last minute spin to Squamish, the Canadian equivalent of our legendary camping trip to Geashill, Co Offaly. No bears, no coleslaw, no biblical rainstorms and definitely no local pub showing Winning Streak reruns. But we did get sold some damp firewood. I take it all back everything derogatory or derisive I've ever said about a Yaris aswell by the way. EmbYarisment is so over rated. We hired one for the day and it's a lovely car altogether. Bizarre thing was that 3 different people stopped to ask me questions about it. It was a brand new '07 model as they call it but you'd swear I was driving a Ferrari or something. Canada gets weirder every day.

Squamish-ish

Paradise Valley Campsite, Tankardstown (Squamish)

So then Linda and Siamak arrive and the chaos begins :) We had a great few days with them altogether. They totally lucked out with the weather. They hired bikes and speedboats, kayaks and seaplanes, we ate and drank all round us, went to a folk gig in a church and laughed at the world and each other. Unfortunately we didnt manage to Jim'll Fix It for Linda to hit a Karaoke bar. But everything else was great craic altogether.

The first meal on the balcony this year

Blenz! Seaplanes. Persian Food. PT Cruiser - stands for Plastic Tack. The sound of '86. BoBo. Breaking fingers with a pint glass. Its better to be looking at it than lookiing for it. Are they melons? Sangria slammers. You should have brought your hat. Rancid cheese. Tofurky Sausages. Vegetarian Half Irish Breakfasts. Thats not a cardiac! Three in one. Queue avoidance strategies. Not watching football. Sylvia the Finnish waitress in the Sandbar. Feshty Face. Gunther Humphries. GOOD MORNING!! I've walked myself a wolf. Coffee out of a machine. Unwearanble pink tshirts. The frisbee was invented in a bakery in Scotland. Conceivably the best position in the world. Ramazotti. Yosa Meetay. Uck Lilet. Borrowed hair. Pizza Party. Will I take off my Bra and let Isaac have his say? CDs for dinner. Siamak's suicide machine. Hand gestures with sound effects. 30 year mortgages. Kids called Jolie. Albert Ralph and Maude, You can tell a Cabáiste by the way he wears his hair. You can telll a Cabáiste anywhere. Sesame Fries with Miso Gravy. Ooops - I've just had ze criaic. Sunsets, mountaintops, is dinner ready yet? Its time to take out the give-a-fuckometer. Helen Keller. Death by cupcake. Sunset Rubdown. Dont make a sound. The lost art of Double dipping. Triple dipping with a backflip by shaking Jay's hand. Flat Ginger Ale for breakfast. Two Horses - Wrong Address. One Lumpers. Paying Josef's tip in gas. Getting our couch back. Yuki.

Conjoined twins before ambitious Stanley Park cycle.

Miraculous and emotional spontaneous separation of conjoined twins on sea wall.

Cash and carry socks and boxers. Thanks for the tickets. Have you ever heard anyone whistle like that? The second best Mexican ever. Going for a post feed snooze or ripping it up on the volleyball court? 4km trains in the Railway Club. Tip politics. Trusting the locals. Old photos. Goldilocks Vs the Three Bears. Turkey Tit. One way No Way. (One way the wrong way) Business Class slagging. Gerry the Genie. Nothing happens on greek day. G-strings on your feet. Leaving your piano in Titsalano. Suing the unknown. Imagine her surprise if I gave her the finger. What do you mean you dont have chips? Karaoke + Speedboats + Lying Down = the only way forward. Inflatable mattresses. Wetting ourselves laughing on the boat. Bringing the weather from Germany. Feeling sunburned on the inside. Railway set for remote controls. Nufty Nuff Luft Baloon. What if God was a Pasta Sauce? Gimme 5 mins and I'll capsize it. Red Mustangs. Pig Boots. Olive Oil. Everything but the kitchen sink. Lindsey Lohans freckles. Halfwayto Rollerskates. Propellor abuse. Rapidly sinking baseball cap. The best holidayers we've ever had.

The above mentioned unwearable tshirt with matching bike. Thanks Marc.

M and Linanne at Las Margaritas Mexican restaurant

Ginger Aled to the max. Static speedboat in Horseshoe Bay

Agatha, Gunther and Matilda

So aswell as friends arriving this month sadly we had a couple of friends leaving aswell. Ciara and Lori - the best landladies in Vancouver - are both leaving, Ciara to go home and Lori who's off to Dubai to realise her dream of working as a hommous preparation technician. Best of luck to both of them. We'll miss them terribly.

I'm eating - I must be in Vancouver

We're really looking forward to July aswell when Karen and Frankie come to visit as well as M and A Dug. It'll be busy but we can't wait to see you all.

Summer Solistice spent picnicking on the beach. So relaxing. Except for the lockjaw and cradle cap

Gig Posters

There's a promoter in Vancouver who not only puts on great shows but also generally puts together really nice posters to advertise the gig. Below is a random few of the gigs we've been to since we arrived. Tells it's own story. I'm not sure these posters have a universal appeal but they make us happy. And they might provide some much needed relief from looking at pictures of our ugly mugs. Most of the gigs were in Richards on Richards - the Whelans of Vancouver. It's about twice the size but has a very similar atmosphere.

This was a truly inspirational gig. They pretty much played all of the album Alligator which is one of our favourite albums for a long time. Some guy kept shouting up encouragement to the band to compensate for their lack of banter during songs. "That sounded amazing", "You guys make beautiful noise" etc which was sweet and the band seemed to really rise to it. They opened with Secret Meeting and it all went uphill after that. Mr November was a real highlight aswell. Their final song (a new one) was absolutely beautiful. Excellent gig. Our last time in Richards?

This is completely sold out apparently - can't wait til Sunday night. And it's in our favourite venue, The Commodore Ballroom. I'll let y'all know how it goes. Wolves, frogs and whales.

Went to see Mountain Goats last night. Great gig. For 2 fellas with only an acoustic guitar and a bass the fairly brought the house down. Fricken Rock N Roll! as a Canadian would say. Best atmosphere at a Canadian gig aswell with everyone singing along to the storybook lyrics.

We ended up leaving early for this one such was the dismalness of Pink Mountaintops. Frog Eyes were great.

Left early for this one aswell..... Franz Ferdinand were like a pub band playing a stadium gig. Utter noxiousness. Death Cab For Cutie who we actually went to see were grrrrrreat though.


So impressed were we with Frog Eyes that we went back to see them headline their own show a couple of weeks later. The real highlight was the Sunset Rubdown set. Spencer Krug from Wolf Parade's other band. Definitely the best individual set we've seen.

And one that got away....... We were about 3 months late for this one. 2 of our favourite bands on the one lineup. The poster was amazing though. Sigh.

Elvis Sheflin

Lineup on the second stage

Here are some random photos of our weekend at the 3 day Sasquatch Music Festival at the Gorge in Washington USA aka Honey Bucket City (the portaloos were flatteringly labelled "honey buckets"). It was a pretty amazing weekend even if we spent it on a strict fibre avoidance strategy to try and avoid having to visit the honey bucket more often than was neccessary.

The Natural Amphitheatre Setting

The lineup was one of the best I've seen anywhere and all the bands played really great gigs. Highlights were : Death Cab For Cutie on Sunday night (the solo rendition of "I will follow you into the dark" just as the sun was setting was pretty special) | Queens of the Stoneage who rocked even more in the geological setting of the Gorge | Ben Harper's 2 hour set on Saturday night (he kept 20,000 people pin-drop silent for his acoustic set - absolutely incredible) | Iron and Wine on Staurday afternoon | Returning to the campsite very tired on Saturday night to find that our tent is in fact bulletproof (it is tough enough to withstand sleet snow and ice, the seering challenge of the sun AND constant driving rain) | Our guacamole, orange juice, chocolate danish, beer and sweaty cheese diet making a mockery of our fibre avoidance strategy | The resulting liberal laying of cable in the honey bucket | biscuit in the basket | rabbits in the headlights | cool tatoos | uncool tatoos | watching a lexusful of gingers having to consult the manual to figure out how to activate the 4WD on daddy's lexus after getting stuck up to the arse in a muck hole in the campsite | Ben Gibbard's "drum off" on a baby sized kit with his drummer | The sheer expanse of the bonnet of our hired Ford Crown Victoria (the car of choice for Canadian cops - it's like driving your sitting room around - handles like an elephant on ice) which we used as a sunbed/dining table all weekend | Seeing a couple of these yokes on the road on the way home and deciding we were going to drive to South America with one - car to be acquired | Sufjan Stevens releasing a load of half size inflatable Supermen in to the crowd during his song "Superman" | And finally hearing my favourite song ever played live : The Shins - New Slang.

Stephen Louise and M (holding my beer....)

Iron & Wine on Saturday Afternoon

Waking up at 8am on Sunday morning to the sound of Death Cab For Cutie doing their sound check was nice aswell :) Beck was dissapointingly unfunky -I think the Scientoligists got his soul.

Hilariously Ineffective Shelter from a Surprise Heavy Hailstorm

We missed the Flaming Lips cos after the Hail Storm we all had wet feet and given that everything was delayed by nearly 2 hours we were absolutely knackered standing around. They played a very similar set to the Electric Picnic last year from what we could hear (Riddip!!) including a very successful cover of Bohemian Rhapsody.

Bleary Eyed View From the Tent on Sunday Morning

My international beer enjoyment problems continue unabated. I had my beer confiscated by a very dilligent Beverage Enforcement Officer because I didnt have the "My mammy says I'm allowed drink till I fall down" wristband nor could I produce a passport or birth cert at short notice. I tried to reason with him using only the persuasive power of the words Buddy! and Dude!! but to no avail.

Thanks aswell to Louise and Stephen for putting up with us for the few days. In my Guacamole haze I neglected to pick up beer on the way down and Stephen kindly kept me well oiled for the weekend. M bought some homemade honey champagne wine from some young lad without socks at some stage aswell. She started mispronouncing animal noises very soon after that :)

The Wookie Stage

More Amazing Backdrop

Elvis Sheflin

For those of you who aren't familair with Elvis Sheflin's other work see here. Josh Homme is normally a very ginger man bearing a remarkable resemblance to Henry Sheflin, but he turned up on stage with dyed black quiffed hair and eyebrows, doing Elvis dances and speaking in a Southern drawl. Very hilarious indeed.

Queens of The Stone Age on Sunday Evening

After a weekend of queuing in the wilderness for overpriced beer and food you wouldnt normally consume if they were giving it away, Monday morning's Hash Brown Overdrive featuring Rivers of Ketchup in McDonalds in Elllensburg was a real affirmation of the existence and neccessity of wanton, reasonably priced convenience. Hurrah for America. We truly had a Memorial weekend.

The Ugliest Car on the Planet

And so ends my 3rd class essay. Tune in next time for my celebrated Inter cert opus The Haunted House on the Hill - spellchecked and republished in its entirety.

Edit : seeing as the above post is scattered with toilet references I was amused to be told by the internet when i clicked publish that "This may take a few minutes if you have a large blog" Make it quick if you're in a honey bucket.